I Made a Snowman
8:00 am I made a snowman.
8:10 A feminist passed by and asked me why I didn’t make a snow woman.
8:15 So, I made a snow woman.
8:17 My feminist neighbor complained about the snow woman’s voluptuous chest saying it objectified snow women everywhere.
8:20 The gay couple living nearby threw a hissy fit and moaned it could have been two snow men instead.
8:22 The transgender ma..wom…person asked why I didn’t just make one snow person with detachable parts.
8:25 The vegans at the end of the lane complained about the carrot nose, as veggies are food and not to decorate snow figures with.
8:28 I am being called a racist because the snow couple is white.
8:31 The Muslim gent across the road demands the snow woman wear a burqa.
8:40 The Police arrive saying someone has been offended.
8:42 The feminist neighbor complained again that the broomstick of the snow woman needs to be removed because it depicted women in a
domestic role. 8:43 The council equality officer arrived and threatened me with eviction. 8:45 TV news crew from the ABC shows up. I am asked if I know the difference between snowmen and snow-women? I reply,
“Snowballs? ” and I am now called a sexist. 9:00 I’m on the News as a suspected terrorist, racist, homophobic sensibility offender, bent on stirring up trouble during difficult weather. 9:10 I am asked if I have any accomplices. My children are taken by social services. 9:29 Far left protesters offended by everything are marching down the street demanding for me to be beheaded. Moral: There is no moral to this story. It’s just a view of the world in which we live today, and it is only getting worse.